Tablet Analysis

Email received from a colleague, apropos of absolutely effing nothing.

Talking to other parents about the tablet

"My GP gave me those little pink ones, valium I think he called them. They're marvellous. Go wonderfully well with a G and T! I'm so relaxed that I forget to eat, so that's a good thing innit, as my new Gucci jeans are a size 8. Don't tell anyone; I don't want them to think I'm a complete porker!"